A Practical Guide For Women Who Want To Soar
The 7 Secrets to Creating a Life That You Love: A Practical Guide For Women" by Monique de Maio is not just a book; it's a beacon of optimism and a guide to personal transformation. It invites the reader, particularly professional women, to take part in reimagining and reshaping their lives into one of intention, happiness, and fulfillment.
De Maio masterfully turns the complex task of self-improvement into an accessible and engaging journey. Each chapter serves as a stepping stone towards building a life that serves you, rather than one where you are constantly serving the demands of others.
The book is an invitation to explore the depths of your own potential, challenging you to confront and reshape the narratives that have limited your growth.
What sets her book apart is its profound relatability. De Maio shares her personal experiences with a no-nonsense approach, making each lesson tangible and actionable.
Her stories resonate deeply, acting as a mirror reflecting the common challenges faced by many professional women. This connection fosters a sense of community, assuring readers that they are not alone in their struggles.
Each chapter is packed with practical advice, tips, and life strategies. De Maio doesn't just offer inspiration; she provides a toolkit for change. From managing time and choices to reshaping jobs and internal narratives, the book offers a holistic approach to creating a satisfying and quality life.
At its core, "The 7 Secrets to Creating a Life That You Love" is a call to confidence and fulfillment. It empowers readers to take control of their lives, to speak up, and to make choices that align with their true selves. The journey, although challenging, reflects a rewarding path leading to exciting possibilities and a state of genuine happiness.
In a world where professional women often juggle multiple roles and expectations, Monique de Maio's book emerges as a crucial guide to finding balance and joy. It's an optimistic manifesto for anyone yearning to break free from the status quo and craft a life filled with intention and satisfaction.
"The 7 Secrets to Creating a Life That You Love" is more than a book; it's a journey towards a life that truly serves you, filled with confidence, happiness, and fulfillment.
What motivated you to share your insights in "7 Secrets to Creating a Life That You Love.”
De Maio: My business of today serves my life; my life doesn’t serve my business. That is by design. The journey of having that be the case was not always straight and not always fun. I remember looking for answers, guidance, mentorship, and support, and finding that all the books and articles I could find were written by men.
In those days, it was also very uncommon to find women willing to mentor other women, as we were coming up through the ranks. It was an environment of alpha men and alpha women. It was survival of the fittest for these women, and they did not have the time or inclination to worry about the entry-level women. That was the environment that I experienced in my career.
So what ultimately sparked your decision to write this book?
De Maio: I decided a few years ago that I had to help change that for other women. Often, high-powered women leaders lack people to go to for answers, guidance, mentorship, support, etcetera. I am hopeful that this book is the place where these women leaders—existing and up-and-coming—come to.
Can you share a bit about what readers will find throughout the pages?
De Maio: I packed my fifty-nine years of intellectual curiosity, learning, tips, tricks, and hacks on how I have been able to lead a life of intention and happiness—designed by implementing a few small things in seven key areas. I have blended my own professional and personal takeaways and compiled them all for readers so they don’t have to!
I imagine that women will ‘’see themselves’’ in my and the stories of the other 10 women I interview,and will use my tips and takeaways as actionable ‘’tweaks’’ to make in their own lives to get better results in these seven key areas.
Confidence is often seen as a journey rather than a destination. What key advice from your book can help women on this path to self-assurance?
De Maio: My book unpacks our internal and external narratives in a way that should have the reader understand that confidence is a CHOICE. It is how you speak to yourself (and I advise that you speak to yourself like a BFF) and the story you tell others about you—both of which are in your control. If we learn the tricks to keep the little voice inside our heads from sabotaging us, we can absolutely show up with greater confidence.
You mention the importance of time and choices in creating a fulfilling life. What are some strategies you propose for managing these elements effectively?
De Maio: It’s interesting that many people (especially women who are predisposed to serving themselves last) have a default that says, “I don’t have time.” Is it really that we don’t ‘’have the time” or is it that we don’t “make the time?”
Because necessity really is the mother of invention, I learned a great hack that has saved me time, money, and my sanity over the years: time blocking. I use time blocking for exercise, date nights, hobbies, haircuts, doctor and dentist appointments, even twenty-minute Peloton workouts—everything!
And this is where many get it wrong: the most important by far is blocking out time for the actual time we need to allocate in order to accomplish our actual work projects. If you don’t, all you fill your calendar up with is events or appointments that serve others. Yes, you have a 1 hour meeting with your client next week, but have you blocked out the time it will take to prepare for that meeting?
Love this. Can you elaborate a bit more on this practice of yours?
De Maio: In my case, all of it goes on my calendar. I color code categories so I can visually see every week if my schedule and my life is balanced.
My calendar is a Google calendar broken up in fifteen-minute increments, and color-coded by category for very quick check-ins on my priorities.
If I don’t see enough of the colors I know bring me joy, like fitness, or personal/friends/family or self-care, I know I need to make some adjustments, or delegate or outsource something.
I break up and color-code my life’s categories like this:
• Client Work/Existing Projects
• Clients Strategy/Planning
• New Biz Dev/Outreach
• Networking
• Medical/Dental
• Legal/Financial
• Fitness
• Personal: Self-care (this is haircuts, mani/pedis, massages, coaching, et cetera.)
• Personal: Family/Friends, Social Events
• Personal: Travel/Vacations
• Book/Speaking/Podcast
I constantly ask myself, “How and where am I really spending my time? And is there anything that needs to change?”
How do you challenge readers of your book with this?
De Maio: I ask the reader: Is there anything about what they’re doing with their time that needs to change? Is there anything about the way they:
• Navigate their day
• Block their calendar
• Say yes or no to commitments
• Spend time searching for things on the web that they may not necessarily need at that moment in time
• Scroll on social media
… that could be replaced by something more fulfilling in the long run and more on purpose to who they want to be?
This is where this all goes back to CHOICE. How, where and with whom you spend your TIME is often more of a CHOICE than you think. I advocate removing the energy vampires from your life and sayingno to things that are not on point with what you want to do and who you want to be, and replacing them with things that serve you—both personally and professionally.
What are some of the common challenges you anticipate your readers will face on this journey, and how does your book prepare them to overcome these obstacles?
De Maio: From my point-of-view, there are 7 common obstacles which is why I named it 7 Secrets: it is about our Voices, Choices, Time, Jobs, Internal Narratives, External Narratives and Environments. In order to overcome any of these obstacles, you need to deal with each one, in small bites, one thing at a time.
The behavior changes you seek will not happen in one day, one week, or one month. However, a commitment to doing small things differently (‘’micro-decisions’’ and ‘’micro-moments’’ as I call them in the book) will absolutely make a very positive impact on readers' lives and what they can now see as a ‘’possibility’’ for themselves moving forward.
Could you share one of your personal experiences that you found most transformative and that prompted a secret revealed in your book?
De Maio: So I am very transparent and authentic, and I share several personal stories where I take you right to the moment it is happening to me:
The 2 stories that support the CHOICE secret are:
One: coming to this country (the United States) on my first day of kindergarten when the school principal decided that my name Monique was just too difficult to say and that I should be called by a nickname, and because I did not speak perfect English, I was summarily put into a class where all of the students had some disability. (no ESL back then!)
Two: deciding not to follow the doctors’ recommendations to go on fertility medication after a miscarriage.
The story about JOB was when my male boss and male leadership team were blatantly discriminating against me as the only woman on the leadership team and treating me completely differently than my male colleagues.
My story that relates to INTERNAL NARRATIVE is when in the 3rd grade, the class bully decided to punch me in the face because he didn’t like the fact that I was foreign and I was friends with a girl who lived in a trailer park) and I got the courage up to punch him back.
My story that relates to an EXTERNAL NARRATIVE is the moment that I take on the role as my family's interpreter and advocate—because no one else speaks English other than me—when we return a broken TV to Gimbels department store, and I am only five years old.
A sense of community is important in the journey you describe. How does your book foster this among your readers, and why is it important?
De Maio: I think it does. If we are in conversation and truly being authentic with one another, we have all experienced similar (maybe not all) things, and can learn from one another. It is only by being real, transparent, and vulnerable about your mistakes and your life’s journey can you truly help another human being with theirs.
What is the first step you recommend readers take after finishing "7 Secrets to Creating a Life That You Love" to start their journey towards intention, happiness, and fulfillment?
De Maio: I think it is to become more AWARE…of your thoughts, general demeanor, approach, vocabulary, attitude, and become more INTENTIONAL about what you choose to do, or not do with your choice, time and life overall.
Once you realize that you have CHOICE, you have AGENCY in your life, you show up differently. Once you stop sabotaging yourself or beating yourself up about the past or something you did, you can move forward with greater confidence and purpose.
Once you remove people and experiences that do not serve you, you have more time for the things that give you joy.
I am not suggesting that this is easy, but it is simple. Your life should serve you. Period. Our lives need to be created in a way that does exactly that. You cannot and should not surrender your life and your happiness to a default state.
I think my book provides the ‘’how to’s’’ to get started and do well along that journey.
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Thank you for your wonderful post featuring this book. I have used a color-coded 15-minute calendar for years. However, not exactly in this way. Love the insight and direction.