Living Your Future Self Now

How to Flip Your Mindset To What’s Ahead

To what extent does your past behavior drive your future actions and behavior? Dr. Benjamin Hardy, author of the book “Be Your Future Self Now: The Science of Intentional Transformation” says that research in this area shows that we are pulled forward to the future. 

In this book which was released this past June, Hardy makes the very compelling case that our goals and motivations for doing things are largely driven by one of two factors: either we are approaching something we want to happen, or avoiding something we don’t want to happen. He says that as a rule, “80 percent of people are primarily driven by fear or avoidance, while 20 percent of people are driven by approach and courage.”

In an excerpt from the book, Hardy offers this: 

“In all instances, humans act as we do based on the future we see for ourselves. That may be a future we’re trying to avoid, or a future we’re trying to create. That future may be decades or seconds away. In addition to being driven primarily by fear, the average person is mostly driven by short-term goals such as distracting themselves with social media instead of working, getting to the end of the workday, getting to the weekend, or paying the bills.”

Hardy believes that shifting our goals and aims from fear-based, reactive, and short-term to proactive, long-term, and love based is ultimately the path to a successful and happy life. He adds:

“The quality of connection you have with your own Future Self determines the quality of your life and behaviors now. Research shows that the more connected you are to your own Future Self, the wiser decisions you make here and now.”

Decisions and actions, according to Hardy are best when reverse-engineered from the desired outcome, noting:

“Start with what you want and work backward. Think and act from your goal, rather than toward your goal. Because we’re disconnected from our Future Selves, we opt for near immediate goals or dopamine hits.”

Here are a few golden nuggets that I personally away with from reading Ben’s book in my own words:

• The biggest threat to my Future Self is not the loss of freedom but the lack of meaning and purpose. Thus, the power of seeking out the all-important  “why” behind my future directed aims and desires.

• That it’s best if I own my past experiences versus having them own me. In other words, if I am able to sit with what is painful, I increase their value by learning more and more about them. 

• The desire I have to become a successful writer and entrepreneur is largely predicated on surrounding myself with others who have reached similar levels of success. Becoming my desired “Future Self” requires aligning myself with people who can help me get there. 

• It’s easy to miss out on some invaluable life opportunities whenever I am focused on urgent and small goals.

• When focusing on more than three priorities, you really don’t have any. In his book, he says: “If you have more than three priorities, you don’t have any —  What three priorities, if realized, would take your life to a totally different level? These are the three areas of focus you want to dramatically invest in to create 10X compounding results.”

• The essence of being boldly committed to something is when you ask for it.  (Personal Note — I was reminded of how, in the past, whenever there was one of those raffles where you were asked to put your business card in a bowl, I would enthusiastically say to the person overseeing it: “I place my business card in only on one condition — that you pick me.”). Without fail, seven out of ten times they would pull my card out as the winner. 

• Freedom of time requires taking ownership over one's schedule by prioritizing what matters most and eliminating what doesn’t. I’ve made major strides with this of late through the use of a phone app called Structured. As Dr. Hardy says “the more you say “No” to lesser goals, the stronger your commitment grows to create the life and outcomes you want.”