My Life of Intellectual Foreplay: How To Read Into It

For me, there’s no greater pleasure in life than having a random conversation with a complete stranger. 

On the fly. On an esoteric theme. On cue. 

I was reminded of this recently on a short trip with the ride service Lyft. Noticing what I surmised to be a deep African accent, I asked the driver where his home of origin was. With a big toothy grin, he turned to me and enthusiastically  responded

Ethiopia!

He proceeded to run a red light why sharing in gibberish something about the native tribes of his country. Given my lack of clarity about what he was speaking about, I immediately changed the topic.

“Hey”, I shouted over the din of the car’s movement, “how about what’s happening. with the “Grand Ethiopian Renaissance Dam”?  He immediately glanced over at me in shocked amazement, responding: 

How did you know about that? 

“Great question”,  I quietly thought recalling that I’d recently read a full-page feature story about it in The Economist.

So the remainder of my ride, we talked in great depth about the economic, social, and political significance of this soon to be completed dam project in Ethiopia. 

To me, it doesn’t get any better than this.

Conversations of this manner are what bring meaning to my existence — the sweet nectar of my soul and the essence of life. 

As a result, the grand aim of my existence is:

“Find opportunities on a regular and consistent basis to converse with anyone, anytime, anywhere, on any topic.” 

As you might imagine, this requires me to be widely conversant on a wide range of esoteric topics as I cast myself as the modern-day equivalent of a Polymathic Renaissance Man.

Honestly, I have better success with this form of conversational calisthenics in some cities than in others.

My adopted hometown of Chicago is in my view the sweet bread of intellectual exchanges. Same with Boston and San Francisco.

Denver, where I currently reside --- not so much. 

Given my proclivities for wanting to connect with smart, conversant people, many have asked whether I could be categorized as sapiosexual. In case you are unfamiliar with this term, this is a person who is primarily attracted to the intelligence of a person over their physical appearance. 

My rejoinder is always, “sure I could be categorized that way. But that would be quite limiting given the gender and sexual connotations often associated with this term. 

Where I Acquired My Propensity For Smart Conversations

I credit my late Dad for making me into the conversationalist I am today. As a kid growing up in Columbus, Ohio I recall my Dad’s healthy appetite for reading and books. 

He was also a huge connoisseur of the New York Times. Every Sunday for 25-years, he and his Army buddy Frank would pick up two copies of the weekend edition from a local cigar shop (they could never share one). They would alternate visits to each other’s homes, flipping through the pages and conversing on prevailing issues and events over cold beers. 

Having acquired my Dad’s DNA for reading, I typically have upwards of 15 books going at one time on an unlimited array of topics.

I often tell people that books are like hormones that fuel my propensity for intellectual foreplay. 

I’m particularly fond of two books, The Incerto series by Nassim Taleb and Ayn Rand’s classic Atlas Shrugged. They are both great starter wood for igniting a conversation. All I can say is “game on” if I discover that you’ve imbibed either of these two masterpieces. 

My manner of discerning whether you’re willing to take an intellectual romp with me always begins with a question. Here are two I love asking at say a cocktail party or more recently on LinkedIn

1. Who are your favorite authors?

2. What are you reading these days?

As an aside, I am of the opinion that the most nauseating  conversation starter one could ever encounter upon meeting someone you’ve never met at a networking event is:

So what do you do for a living?

How about, “what books have you captivated during this time of covid-19 and racial justice protests? 

Your response to a question like that lets me know whether you are in touch with who you are and the world around you. 

To be blunter, you are either interesting to me or not. 

Want to boost your level of readiness for any and all opportunities for intellectual foreplay that come your way? Then there are two publications I recommend you read from cover-to-cover on a regular basis. They are:

• The Economist

• Fast Company Magazine

Sorry but Fox News, The Washington Post, and CBS News with Nora O’Donnell fail to make the cut if I’m looking for unbiased, objective reporting. 

Note: Ryan Holiday’s great book “Trust Me I’m Lyng: Confessions of a Media Manipulator” will offer you a jaw-dropping perspective on this point. 

Another point, whenever you encounter a word you are unfamiliar with, look the damn thing up. 

Here’s the latest esoteric word that I recently added to my connection: 

Salubrious -- Favorable to or promoting health or well-being

________

Next week, I can’t wait to have lunch and chat it up with my friend Dominic. The catalyst for this was his reaching out to me on LinkedIn with the following question:

How do you feel about Thomas Sowell? 

I know, some of you reading this are saying, “who the hell is Thomas Sowell?”  Folks, educate yourself. 

Finally, let me leave you with this. It’s from a conservative (LinkedIn) friend of mine Connie is on the East Coast. 

“I do appreciate how you get me to think...about a lot. Sometimes we're in complete agreement, sometimes not, but I love the fact that you boldly put issues out there for civil debate.  So thank you!  I hope you're staying well, too!  It's a crazy world out there!

I agree with Connie, times are nuts. And given what’s going on, there has never been a better time in my view to lather yourself in “intellectual foreplay.”