So What If The Buddha Dated?

Feature Interview With Dating Coach Kenna Renee

One morning in 2021, amid a pandemic case spike in the Denver area, I sat in an empty coffeehouse writing on my iPad. Immersed in my work, I briefly glanced to my right, noticing that a woman had seated herself at the table next to me. Being the quintessential connector, I initiated a conversation, curious as to why she too was out milling around during Covid. 

Enter Kenna Renee, a dating coach who helps single women find their man while discovering more about themselves. A glance at her LinkedIn profile captures the essence of her work:

“Kenna Renee is a love revolutionary and trailblazer in the world of modern dating. She works with women (as well as men) who are ready to succeed at dating, become thoughtful, and develop a plan for actively finding and pursuing high-quality partners.”

In short, Kenna helps clients examine internal beliefs and fears that may be holding them back in relationships. She then supports them in becoming better, more engaged partners as they pursue a love life of greater confidence and intention.

In subsequent conversations with Kenna, I discovered that she is a big fan of the book “If the Buddha Dated: A Handbook for Finding Love on a Spiritual Path” by Charlotte Sophia Kasl

Giving homage to Christian, Buddhist, Sufi, and other sacred traditions, “If The Buddha Dated” offers thoughtful, playful, spiritual perspectives on creating a new love story in your life. Specifically, it shows how to find a partner without losing the essence of who you are. 

Kasl, a practicing psychotherapist, workshop leader, and Reiki healer for thirty years shows you what it means to stay loyal to your spiritual journey while bringing curiosity, fascination, and a kind heart to the dating process. 

In this feature interview with Kenna, we explore what led her to become a dating coach as well as how the book “If The Buddha Dated” can help those on the dating journey successfully navigate today’s forever evolving world of relationships. 

A brief introduction to you and your journey to becoming a dating coach? 

My journey as a dating coach was birthed through my own struggles with dating. I began to use some of the coaching principles I'd gotten certified in on myself which completely turned my dating life around. I started to have fun, it became easy, and I attracted better and better men - which led me to meet my guy who I enjoy a thriving partnership with today! 

So how exactly have your own experiences in the dating world informed the perspectives you share with clients?

My motto in today's dating world is that it doesn't have to be hard, it can be easy, and we should be having fun. AND we can do that by loving smarter! Loving smarter means taking an intentional approach to dating, having a customized process that fits each individual, and knowing that each person you meet on the way to your person is a gift, helping you get to your man! 

You have expressed high regard for the book “If The Buddha Dated?” What is its primary message? 

The book's primary message is that relationships are a spiritual journey, one where we are coming together for the good of ourselves and the other person. It's about dating with curiosity and a light heart by being present in the moment, all while unattached to the outcome. This is what truly allows us to create intimate connections. 

Why did it resonate with you so much? 

For me personally, it resonated because oftentimes dating becomes a “you against me” stance. There is a fear that the other person could hurt us or that they won’t have your best interest in mind, therefore the need to protect yourself. But the truth is, at any given moment we are operating out of one of two states, love or fear. The premise of the book is about bringing us back to love so that we can make decisions from a place of love every time!  

The book draws from Christian, Buddhist, Sufi, and other sacred traditions. In your view, how important is it to have a spiritual match with your chosen partner?

I think being a spiritual match to your partner is important as long as there is wiggle room. Oftentimes we get stuck on exactly what things need to look like in order for it to be a match.  But the truth is a match spiritually always involves a little wiggle room.

In fact, according to this book, an exact identical match isn't the point. Rather, the point is that we are committed to helping each other to become the full versions of ourselves!  

How do you believe today’s dating narrative has changed amid pandemic-driven times of human disconnection? 

The pandemic has definitely dampened our ability to connect on a deeper level. It’s almost like that skill set was put on pause and we haven't fully turned it on again. The beauty is that we all crave that same level of connection we once had. This is where the book offers such valuable perspectives around being in this together and wanting the same things without having to defend ourselves.  

What sort of practical advice can readers expect from “If The Buddha Dated?”

Oh wow, there is so much! One thing I'll take straight from the book: "There is a circular relationship between our ability to know and love another and our ability to know and love ourselves." To me, this means that we can only love another to the extent that we know and love ourselves. It starts with us. 

The book brings awareness to when we are attempting to love from the ego which can lead us to the wrong person for the wrong reason. It talks about how we can move ego aside to align with a partner that's a great fit! 

The reader will also take away how we can bring intentionality to our love life, especially around self-imposed limitations and the type of love we think we can have. And most importantly it offers actual applications to help us stay in the present moment, all while remaining unattached to the outcome, which for so many of us can be very difficult!