By Lauren Richey
For Rob Salafia, spending his childhood in the family flower shop in Providence, Rhode Island meant there was no shortage of interesting (and sometimes outlandish) stories. Whether it was people from the neighborhood, shop owners from down the street, or students from the nearby university, anyone who stopped by had something to share.
“It seemed like there were stories happening all the time in the backroom...people were always telling stories,” Salafia says. From the beginning, he was immersed in storytelling.
As a leading executive coach, Salafia specializes in teaching business leaders how to develop their presence, tell compelling stories, and establish authentic connections. His latest book, Leading From Your Best Self teaches the importance of being a good storyteller, not only in the corporate world but in all aspects of life.
Interview Highlights
On His Experience With Street Performing
Salafia learned the importance of storytelling during his time as a street performer on the East Coast. After college, he realized that his true interest was in people and the power of human connection.
“Street performing was all about connecting with one’s audience...and I quickly found that storytelling was at the heart of it, says Salafia. “It was really the vehicle for making these connections.”
He quickly understood that in order to be a successful performer, he was going to have to convince his audience it was worth their time to stop by. In other words, he needed to be interesting.
“To make myself interesting, I had to take an interest in my audience. I had to get them involved in my story.”
On His Recent Book and The Concept of Executive Presence
Leading From Your Best Self teaches readers how to create a foundation of self-confidence through the use of storytelling, and develop their personal leadership style. In it, Salafia coins the term “Executive Presence”.
He describes the concept as “how people experience us, how they experience themselves when they’re with us...the story they tell about us when we’re gone.” It can be something as simple as your facial gestures, how your voice sounds, or how tall you stand. As he tells it, Executive Presence is “telling a story without saying a word.”
But it’s more than your physical appearance; Salafia says developing an Executive Presence is about immersing the audience in your story.
“They see what we see, they feel what we feel, and they experience what we experience. Some people think [stories] are just a series of facts.” he says, “That’s not a story at all.”
On Developing Your Best Self Through Storytelling
“We are all are living our own narrative,” Salafia says.
He asks his clients to think about a time when they felt the best versions of themselves. How they felt at that moment, how they engaged with others, and what impact they may have made. “When we recall those stories and those moments in our lives, they lift us up to achieve even greater things.”
He uses an example of a former client, a young man who struggled with his confidence in the corporate world and regularly felt intimidated at work.
“As he was talking about this, I could see his shoulders slump, his voice got a little weak, and I could see him almost collapsing inside of himself,” says Salafia.
He asked the young man to tell him about a time when he felt the most alive; the best version of himself. To his coworkers’ shock, the man revealed that he was an international martial arts champion.
So he had the man to sit in his chair as if he was at a match, just about to walk up to the mat. “His whole presence changed,” Salafia says. “He became solid in his seat, his eyes relaxed… he totally transformed before me.” All it took was a little revisiting of his personal narrative.
The Why, the How, and the What of Storytelling
Why should people listen to your story? He says the best way to engage your audience is to pull them into your story. Make them want to stick around for more.
The “how” of storytelling deals more with the structure of a story. Salafia says that a good story should contain a main character, a worthy goal, usually some kind of obstacle to overcome, a decision that has to be made, and then a final outcome.
The ‘what’ of a story, is knowing when to “choose the right story for the right time” he says. Taking the time to select that story and practice it to deliver a flawless execution is what elevates great storytellers.
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