The Power of Poise, Presence, Influence: Feature Interview With Author Rob Salafia

While captivating crowds doing street performances in Boston back in the 80s and 90s, Rob Salafia discovered the importance of presence. Walking a tightrope across a wire on stage allowed him to overcome his fear and create a greater sense of equilibrium in life.

Whether acting, tap-dancing, or offering stories to his audiences, he was setting the foundation for his present work in supporting others in discovering their own voice and rhythm in life. 

Today, Salafia is an emerging global authority in leadership development and education, working as a lecturer and executive coach at the MIT Sloan School of Management. He is also the author of the book “Leading From Your Best Self: Develop Executive Poise, Presence, and Influence to Maximize Your Potential” (McGraw-Hill). This book provides leaders with an up-close look at how his life translates into proven ideas, concepts, strategies, and stories for bringing their best selves to the table while encouraging the same with others. 

Filled with sparks of enlightenment, Leading From Your Best Self provides a series of guideposts for developing your poise, presence, and influences -- prerequisite skills for navigating today’s unchartered waters of uncertainty and change. Highlighting his theatrical journey and how it allied him to deeply connect with his audiences, the book delivers a rich tapestry of wisdom useful in the business world as well as in one’s own personal life. 

Salafia first became intrigued with the art of storytelling in the late seventies when he attended The National Association for the Preservation and Perpetuation of Storytelling Conference in Jonesboro, TN.

He went on to study the art of tap dance with the dancer, actor, choreographer, and singer Gregory Hines and numerous other tap dance impresarios. Then in 1989, he was awarded a residency with the famed dancer, Honi Coles. 

Recently, “Great Books, Great Minds” has the opportunity to interview Salafia about his life, performance career, and book along with how to navigate today's rapidly changing world with poise, presence, and influence. 

What was your first defining moment in life?

Sure. My first true ah-ha moment was during my senior year of high school. I went to a Christian Brothers School. There were three religion classes, two of which were traditional. It was in a class on Eastern Religions where I came alive for the first time in my life. My mind and heart were immediately opened to Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, Hinduism, Sikhism, Islam, and more. The teacher introduced us to the I Ching and Tai Chi, two disciplines that I continue to practice to this day.

Did you go on to college? 

Yes, I attended Clark University in Worcester, MA studying political geography and international development. In 1975 I took a semester of my Junior year in Kathmandu, Nepal. I also attended my first mindfulness retreat in northern India. It was a life-altering experience.  

In what way? 

Upon coming home, I experienced severe cultural disorientation as a result of not being able to process my experience. I had difficulty recognizing my values, needs, and wants. I did, however, finish school before taking a left-hand turn into street performance and theater.

What was that journey like? 

My career as a performer lasted over 15 years. I progressed quickly in several disciplines including tap dance, mime, and storytelling. I learned how to create a vision for myself as an artist, build solid characters and routines, organize my performance, read my audience, and sustain my energy. Most of my performance work occurred at festivals across North America. 

Did you receive any big breaks in terms of advancing your career? 

I did. In 1985 I was chosen as the lead performer in a musical being developed in Boston. It was the break I was looking for. However, due to the new tax laws, the show never got off the ground. Nevertheless, I kept performing for another half dozen years.

What was your next inflection point?

At 35 I began to take stock of my life. No spouse, no savings, no prospects. I knew it was time to make a shift. I wanted more from my life. An important part of my transformation process was getting diagnosed with adult ADHD. It put my life and career trajectory into perspective. I became re-energized with the prospect of finding purpose in my life.

So how did you begin to address the ADHD? 

I tried many alternative therapies to treat it with little in the way of results. I was then introduced to a person who was skilled in holotropic breathwork, a form of transpersonal therapy created by the renowned psychologist Stan Grof. After over 200 sessions, my nervous system and traumatic patterns were greatly diminished and I began to feel settled and my confidence restored. 

How did all of this impact your career? 

During this time, I hired a career consultant to help me sort through things. I enjoyed the process of self-reflection immensely and he recognized my potential. He quickly hired me to help sell his program. I did this for 9 months and then used the experience to leap into a new opportunity at Boston University. 

What happened next?

One of my best friends from college ran a training program for people with emotional disabilities through Boston University’s Sargent College. He was desperate to find someone to run his job development program. Because of my recent experience, I expressed an interest and he hired me on the spot. So at 40 years old I stepped into an entry-level position at BU and made the most of the experience. I was trained as a rehabilitation counselor. I enrolled in a master’s degree in business at BU and was invited by the personnel office to be a part of the university training group. This is where I learned skills of facilitation from no other than John Cleese. My time at BU was like loading 15 years of career development into 5 years.

WOW! Sounds like that was a profoundly important leap forward in your life.

No doubt. After 5 years, I had an enormous skill set of performance experience, clinical and counseling skills, relationship sales skills, facilitation skills, and a newly acquired master’s degree. I finally knew what I wanted; to put my skills and talents to the best and highest use. 

So how did you get all of this momentum flowing in a positive direction? 

Two weeks after stating this out loud I bumped into a former performance colleague. As luck would have it, he worked for a training company that utilized theater methodology to teach communication and leadership skills. I followed up in earnest, was introduced to the company, and won a position with the organization. I was trained as a facilitator and hired as a full-time account executive. I became their top-earning sales executive for the next 12 years. 

What ensued from all of this? 

I am most proud of the lasting relationship that I cultivated with Harvard Business School. Our experiential programming became integrated within the Harvard MBA curriculum and Executive Education Leadership Programs. I also opened, led, and cultivated relationships with American Express, Merrill Lynch, and other Fortune 500 companies. I was fully engaged, passionate, and purposeful. I was on a fast track of learning and had found my place and community.

Where did your life evolve from there?

But as we know in life, change is the only constant. In late 2012 I soon found myself with yet another choice point. As the business was being sold, I took a calculated risk and ventured out on my own and started Protagonist Consulting Group. It has not been easy, but I am establishing my brand, finding my voice, and experiencing a renewed sense of meaning and purpose. I am 65 years old and feel like I am at the beginning of my career.

Your book, tell us a little about how that came about. 

The thought of writing a book had not really occurred to me. I was too busy trying to survive. I was in a meeting with the executive director of a local CEO club looking for him to bring me in as a speaker. He said that he really loved my work but could not hire me and that I needed a book! He then gave me the name of someone who helps people write their books and get published. I met with the agent and we made an immediate connection. 

Describe what happened from there.

Within 2 months we created a book proposal and shopped it to many publishers. Within a month I received a call from McGraw-Hill. The editor with whom we spoke was a woman in her mid 20’s. She said that she was a tap dancer in NYC and loved the idea of a book that applied the world of theater and performance to leadership. We signed a deal and the process took off. The book literally poured out of me. I finally had something of value to offer the world that was unique and practical.

The book’s theme is centered on poise, presence, and influence. What makes you uniquely qualified to deliver that message? 

My varied background in theatre and the performing arts, combined with strong facilitation skills, 20 years of business experience, as well as having coached hundreds of executives along their own journeys. My clients appreciate my ability to establish an authentic connection, my structured yet flexible approach, and knack of getting to the heart of the matter quickly.

Describe the special significance of your book amid these unprecedented times.

The global pandemic has impacted all of us, yet each of us is experiencing and responding to the health crisis differently. It is like we are all caught in a huge storm, yet we are all in our own boats. Some in ocean cruisers, some in yachts, some in small dinghies. Some feel safe and are thriving, others feel vulnerable. We are all feeling the need for connection.

My book is the calm from the storm. It is a place where people can go to focus, engage, and improve. Those that have read my book describe it as if I am speaking directly to them. Like having their own personal coach helping them navigate the rough waters.

Your thoughts on the increasing isolation that many are feeling tied to the pandemic?

As noted in my prior response, we are all experiencing isolation differently. We can often find ourselves pushing through difficult times. It is all too easy to get into a heads-down mode and underappreciate the importance of relationships. We end up missing the opportunities to truly connect. 

In closing, what sort of advice do you have in terms of bringing one’s best self to the table during these uncertain times?

Bringing one’s best self to the table every day requires discipline and practice. We need to develop both a long-term and short-term focus. For the long-term, we need to have a vision for ourselves. Where are we going? What is the destination we are working toward? Who do we want to be when we get there? What/who are we in the process of becoming?

In the short-term, we need to take a realistic view of our situation and make the most of it by focusing on the things that are within our immediate control. This involves taking care of your emotional, mental, and physical health along with managing your energy and focus throughout the day. Cultivate positivity. Treat others well.

Most of all, we need to realize that change is the only constant and learn how to enjoy the ride.