The Uncommon Life of a Weird Girl Adventurer
My Epic Conversation
All of us are a bit weird in some way. I know I certainly am. That’s why I jive so well with people who you might say are, um, a little contrarian; who are unapologetic in how they live their lives. Who accept their own odd nature and peculiarities in all their glory.
Last year, I discovered a badass, kindred spirit in weirdness on LinkedIn. Her name is Shelley Brown and she is as raw as they come. Shelley is the author of “Weird Girl Adventures: From A to Z,” a rip-roaring, page-turner of a book that will make you laugh, think, cry, and even at times squirm uncomfortably.
While I learned that she had just relocated back to Chicago, a city that gives both of us a case of the ya ya’s, I had to reach out. And she was kind enough to accept my invitation to interview her by phone.
We talk about her adventurous life journey, views, and of course her book, which in her words aims to “amplify the spirit of belonging.”
“We all want to belong,” she says with serious intent as we embark on the conversation.
Michael: Before we talk about your book, tell us about your move back to Chicago? What’s up with that?
Shelley: So my significant other and I have been living in Baltimore. We had moved there like a year before the pandemic hit and I was speaking and traveling. But I wanted to move back to Chicago, a city I love. He’s staying in Baltimore for his job, we’re going to do the long-distance thing.
Michael: What sort of work were you engaged in there?
Shelley: I am a mindfulness educator. Over the past few years or so, I had pivoted back to the hospitality industry doing what I call rockstar mindfulness. This is where I introduce mindfulness using rock music, all in a way that was super accessible and approachable to corporate America. The aim was to make not all woo, woo weird. Ya know what I mean?
Michael: Gotcha. So tell me, what was that experience like?
Shelley: It was really fun. I had a great time and my audience had so much fun. It was experiential and it was awesome. And then COVID happened. And so for the last two years, it felt like I did not have a sense of community whatsoever in Baltimore. So I wanted to come home to Chicago
Michael: I hear ya, Shelley. About a dozen times a year, I, too, harbor visions of moving back to Chicago. I travel back there from time to time for a visit and enjoy it. So at some point, maybe I’ll return there to live. I miss it. I miss the area deeply. I miss my friends. I miss being able to experience all of the wonderful cultural and diverse experiences that make the Windy City so special. Sounds like you had a similar feeling.
Shelley: Yeah, that’s exactly what my experience was. I am all about belonging and that feeling of home, friendships, and relationships. Just being able to be with people that I love. As you might have already guessed, I am an extrovert [giggle] and I love being around people. And then there are those who are insular or inclusive, who are not welcoming to other people. Because they’ve known an exclusive group of people for their whole lives, they tend to not embrace outsiders.
Michael: So where is your partner from? Is he from the Midwest?
Shelley: [Laughter] Nah, he’s English!
Michael: Wow, OK then.
Shelley: He grew up outside of Manchester, U.K., and has sort of lived all over the world in France, Spain, you name it. So with this move of mine to Chicago, he and I decided that we are going to commute.
Michael: So how is that transition going so far?
Shelley: That is a great question. I moved here the latter part of last year and we drove here. He was just here for four days and he will be back in two weeks and then for eight days during the holidays. We have been together for about five years. And before that, I spent a lot of time alone in my adult life. So I am old. But I also am very, very disciplined and focused on what I am trying to cultivate now with my speaking.
Michael: So, our Great Books, Great Minds readers would obviously like to hear about your book Weird Girl Adventures and what sparked your move to write it. So tell us in your own words what the book is all about?
Shelley: Sure. But before I do that can I ask, do you go by Diamond or Michael? How do people refer to you?
Michael: Well, that’s a long story. But let’s just get this out of the way. So my official name is Michael Scott which you can probably imagine creates a lot of unwanted attention for me because of my doppelgänger, the character on the television sitcom “The Office.” Shelley, it creates so much uproar everywhere I would go.
Shelley: Really?
Michael: In the past when I’d give my credit card to the server at a restaurant before I knew it, the whole damn wait staff would come over and start with the "Oh my gosh, Michael Scott from The Office crap.” And so for identity reasons and my own sanity I decided to create my own pin name, Diamond-Michael Scott. Kinda like 50-Cent, Snoop Dog, Madonna, ya know
Shelley: OMG, I love it!
Michael: And then there is this — just the other day I was in conversation with someone who wanted to find me on LinkedIn. Problem is, if you search for Michael Scott on LinkedIn, then good luck in finding me. But you put in ‘Diamond Michael Scott,” then my sweet, some would say “sexy” business profile pops up.
Shelley: You are sooo inspiring me because my nickname has always been Downtown Shelly Brown. Maybe I should use that more often!
Michael: That’s badass, Shelley. I think you should
Shelley: I should just call myself Downtown.
Michael: Do it!
Shelley: Like, she is downtown and she is all around.
Michael: Alrighty now [Side splitting laughter from me]. Well, so much for my question about your book
Shelley: Okay, so can I just call you Diamond?
Diamond: Yeah, absolutely. Diamond is fine.
Shelley: Okay, good! So to answer your question in terms of how I got to where I am, growing up I was the kid who was labeled weird. And like a lot of kids, when you have been labeled anything at a young age, it changes you. It’s a pivotal moment that changes you. I just so happened to be a curious kid and I loved singing and dancing. And I was so interested in everything about everybody.
Diamond: Interesting. Please share more.
Shelley: So I tell this story during a TEDx talk I did. In sixth grade, I was in a small rehearsal room singing my heart out because I was either going to be a rock star or I was going to be on Broadway because I loved singing. I also played guitar and piano and all that. So as the story goes, I came out of the room and a girl was holding up my personal journal. I guess she had been looking through my stuff to find a piece of notebook paper or something and stumbled upon my journal entries. So she is holding it up in front of everyone. And on the front of the journal, it said, “People Book.” And inside of it, I’d drawn pictures of my 12 and 13-year-old classmates and written observations about them which nobody was supposed to see but me. So I was labeled weird at that critical age.
Diamond: So that’s what in a sense started you on this journey?
Shelley: It did. I started talking to a lot of people about their weirdness, about the things they think are unique about them. Like when they were labeled as youngsters, usually at around sixth grade or when they are 12 or 13. In any event, that was a difficult moment for me, where I sort of went internal in a lot of ways and looked at the outside world to be my identity. Because at that point, along with other things in my history, I did not value my life as a human being.
Diamond: Can you share more here?
Shelley: So to self-identify with myself, I became a marathoner, an ultramarathoner. Because of the stress I placed on my body, I ended up with a spinal fusion from running through the pain, collapsing my vertebrae. I had a lot of anxiety and a lot of depression.it was a struggle trying to figure out who I thought I was supposed to be in this world because who I was in my mind was not okay.
Diamond: Did you receive any support and direction from your parents?
Shelley: I was easily steered and directed. And because my parents were not creatives like I was, they sort of pushed me into, “you should do this, you should do that.” And so for most of my career, it was kind of like being dressed in clothes that did not fit.
Diamond: Wow. So you obviously had a transitional moment where you awakened to the essence of who you are, who you are not, who you hope to become, right?
Shelley: Yes, but it took a long time. And when my vertebrae collapsed I was like, okay, who am I, if the one thing that I think that I am, a runner, is gone. It was a culmination of making my identity about what my physical body could do and I did not have that ability anymore. So that kind of started the process of the awakening.
Diamond: So what were some of the key elements of your transition?
Shelley: I started writing. And I never had really known prior to that that I was a writer. So I just started writing and writing and writing. Some of it was painful and some of it was tragic and some of it was hilarious. It was just observational writing about my journey. That’s how the book started with all these stories that I had written about my periods of meltdown and mindfulness. By the way, that was another pivotal thing — discovering mindfulness through mindfulness-based stress reduction, which was-
Diamond: Yes, Yes, the work of Jon Kabat Zinn?
Shelley: That’s it, Diamond. So you know about this?
Diamond: Yes, through Phil Jackson, coach of the Chicago Bulls and author of my all-time favorite boot Sacred Hoops. That’s how I was introduced to stress-based mindfulness.
Shelley: I love that. I attribute it to completely changing my life. I did not realize that I had a choice
Diamond: A choice?
Shelley: yes, I did not realize that I had a choice and that I could put distance between things that would be in stimulus in response. I mean, there is that choice. I did not know that I could put space there. That was so transformative. With that, I decided that I had to learn how to bring this practice to others. And so I studied with a former Buddhist monk who taught Search Inside Yourself.
Diamond: WOW!
Shelley: Yeah. And I just started consuming books of all types that were related to the practice of mindfulness. All of this led me to create my own program, which I mentioned earlier called Rockstar Mindfulness. Again, that’s where I used rock music to help people understand what mindfulness is all about. I talk about what it is, why it matters, and how it can help us show up better together.
Diamond: It sounds as though mindfulness practice has really benefited you?
Shelley: It has! Obviously, being calm and having that peace is what I always wanted all my life. And that’s what mindfulness gave me. But more than that, I feel like when we are present, it is the biggest gift that we can give to others. And so how we show up for others is really what mindfulness to me is all about, how we show up better for other people.
Diamond: Love it! So who are you finding that your book “Weird Girl” appeals to the most?
Shelley: Oh my gosh. So the book is about my journey of trying to fit in. Like, all the different things that I tried to do to fit in — the wrong people, the wrong places, the wrong things, and again, tragedy, hilarity, and all the human emotions. And so both men and women are reading this book and are finding it a valuable guide of self-reflection.
Diamond: So how is the book structured?
Shelley: It is just a series of little short, quick stories. People will read something I wrote and they will think about their own experiences. And I did not know if I expected that as much as that is what has happened when people read the book. The book in its essence is about self-reflection. Readers are not like “look at what Shelley is doing.” They are more like, "Oh my gosh, I see myself in her." And that to me, the raw human experience, is so beautiful to me.
Diamond: So you are obviously a book reader too. So I have to ask you, are there specific authors and thought leaders that have had a significant impact on your thinking?
Shelley: Me, I love anything by Brene Brown. I think she is wonderful. I love her. And then there is a guy out of Australia, Michael Bunting, who wrote a book called The Mindful Leader. It’s such an accessible, approachable book for helping leaders understand mindfulness. So from a professional point of view, when I talk about mindfulness, that is like my Bible. I heard him on a podcast and I was like, Michael Bunting is my guy, kinda like my mentor. And then I like Glennon Doyle.
Diamond: Now that you are back in Chicago, are there any bookstores that you have or are seeking to frequent?
Shelley: Sadly, Barnes and Noble near State and Rush closed down.
Diamond: Yes, I remember that story.
Shelley: But then, there is Barbara’s bookstore which I believe is still open. I have not been there yet. Honestly, I am more acquainted with the bookstores in Baltimore than here in the Chicago area. So I have not been able to explore a whole lot yet. But I do love independent bookstores so much. They are like candy stores for readers, right?
Diamond: If you ever get up to Evanston, there is a great one up there called Bookends and Beginnings. Are you familiar with it?
BROWN: No, but I would love to know.
Diamond: Yeah. Right on Sherman Avenue near Northwestern University. So, Shelley, we have talked about a few things. Any final thoughts before we end this delightful discussion?
Shelley: Let me share this — after I wrote my book what I realized is that my highest value is belonging and amplifying it for others. I also recognized that in order to amplify the experience of belonging, no matter who you are, no matter where you come from, we have to embody the responsibility of noticing our own narratives and the stories we tell ourselves that separate us from others. Because if we can notice the biases and judgments about our own self and towards others, we can begin to make choices around them and not separate ourselves anymore.
At that point, we become present enough to be curious. Then we become present enough to ask questions. Then we are able to really hear and be mindful and thoughtful about what somebody else is sharing with us instead of being enmeshed in our own stories. And so amplifying the experience of belonging is really our responsibility. And I think that this is what all of humanity needs, to have that experience and to amplify it for others.