When You’re 7 Feet Tall But Want To Cut Your Life Short

As a kid in the late 70s, I recall my dad taking me to a college basketball game. During warmups against my beloved Ohio State Buckeyes, out jogged a  7’2’ giant for the Washington State Cougars by the name of James Donaldson. At that time, he was arguably the biggest human being I’d ever seen. 

Over the years, I became a big fan of his, charting his professional career with several teams. As a former NBA All-Star with the Seattle SuperSonics and business owner, he has become a well-regarded community figure in the Emerald City

James Donaldson seemingly had it all in life. That is until he didn’t. In 2018, his life began to unravel as a result of losing his health, life savings, marriage, business, mother, and home all within a year's time. For this man of giant stature, it almost became too much to bear. 

He declared bankruptcy, lost his home to foreclosure, had to close his long-running business, which forced him to live on a very limited income, and had four major surgeries in five years.

He seriously contemplated suicide. Says Donaldson: 

"I fought long and hard to stay here on earth," he said. "I emerged from that darkness realizing that I had a reason to still be here, which was to be a voice and advocate for suicide prevention, and mental health awareness. And to let people know how I made it through, and tips that I utilize to get through all that darkness."

He shares his story – and advice for middle school and high school students as well as men – in his new book entitled: 

"Celebrating Your Gift of Life: From the Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy."

In the book, he chronicles his harrowing, heartbreaking journey of working through darkness and depression back to a promising and productive life. Says Donaldson: 

"There is a bright side somewhere. The key is to keep hanging in there until you find it, and you will.” 

Donaldson continues: 

“Before the pandemic, I'd be in front of an assembly of 500 kids, and maybe five or six students would pull me aside and tell me they're suicidal right now. And they don't know how they're going to make it through tonight. It's the saddest thing," he said. "This motivates me to help these young people. Kids aren't the same as when you and I were kids. Smartphones are their best friends. They don't have any real, true real people as friends like we often have. And that smartphone isn't going to help you when you can't sleep at night."

He says it’s regrettable that men of all ages and races are often so hesitant to reach out for help when they badly need it. 

"Being a big, strong former professional athlete, myself a person of color, we are the category that will not speak up. But I'm speaking up about it. I talk about it. I cry about it. I share my story over and over, and I try to get other men to do likewise," he said.

As an adjunct to his book, Donaldson has created the Your Gift of Life Foundation, a platform for assisting students in need. The board of directors includes several mental health professionals who help evaluate the best resources for people.

The foundation will raise money through contributions, his speaking appearances, and book sales to provide scholarships to students of color going into the mental health profession.

"Currently, 1% of all mental health professionals are of color, which is a big reason communities of color still have a huge stigma and a taboo about mental health. Mental health issues are going to be the next pandemic," he said.

Here at “Great Books, Great Minds” we recently had the privilege of speaking one-on-one with James by phone regarding his new book and his recent life experiences.

Here’s what he had to share: 

Describe your journey in lifting yourself out of the darkest of times? 

After the twelve months of darkness and despair I went through in 2018 started lifting a bit, it occurred to me that I had found a renewed purpose in life. I realized that one of the things that I was really struggling with as so many do when in the midst of struggles is you lose your reason for living and your purpose for life. You lose your reason for even getting up out of bed sometimes. 

During these times, nothing seems to really add up or make much sense. So you go through this sense of hopelessness thinking that tomorrow is not going to be any different and so why continue on. But as I was coming out of this it occurred to me that with the platform I have as a former professional athlete, author, business entrepreneur, and civic leader that I really could become that voice and advocate for mental health awareness and suicide prevention. 

So what are you discovering in the midst of moving your life forward? 

I’m discovering that giving people a sense of hope and inspiring them to reach out for help is an important calling of mine. I believed that this was the only way I could really dig myself out of this mess.

And the book you wrote? 

So I wanted to chronicle my experience and what I went through to work my way out of these challenging times. The book offers a lot of helpful insights and tidbits on how they can help themselves out as well. It’s my best attempt at encouraging others to have hope, that there is a tomorrow. That you’ve got to put in the work and seek out the resources that are readily available for everybody. 

During this challenging period of your life, what are some other discoveries that you unearthed? 

As a person of color, an African-American myself, I know that our Black communities rarely speak about issues pertaining to mental health. We don’t even acknowledge it most of the time. There is such a stigma and taboo historically in our communities about these kinds of things. 

Can you elaborate a bit more about this point? 

Back in the day, you’d go talk to the pastor over at church and have him help you through. But this is a new era, a new day now where resources are readily available. So we need to trust that these resources will really help us through these things.

You seem so open and vulnerable about what you faced. Tell us a little about that. 

Me being an extra tall African-American man who is willing to share my story, willing to cry on camera, and let people know that I was right on the verge of ending my life has been quite the experience. I think my willingness to be so vulnerable resonates very well with men in particular. I’ve heard from so many men since the book was release who have shared stories of having been right where I was and deciding not to let anyone know their plight. They told me about how, like me, they just kept working and plugging away and were finally able to get themselves upright. 

So it sounds like you’ve carved out a new purpose for your life

I have. What drives me every day is the opportunity to work with our younger generation, specifically middle and high school kids. Many of them are facing a whole new reality which has now been further disrupted by the pandemic and the resultant isolation.  It’s sad to see so many of them really, really hurting.  And even worse they don’t have the experience to figure out that life is full of ups and downs. 

The other focal point of mine is working with men, not only men of color but men in general.  Every man has that pride and ego which often prevents him from allowing the world to see that he is hurting.  Or that he has a weakness or that he is vulnerable. He just won’t show that. 

And why is that?

I believe it goes all goes way back to the days when we were just little boys and were taught not to cry. Whenever you fell down, you were encouraged to simply wipe your knee off and keep going. You were never encouraged to cry about it which we carried over into adulthood. We’ve since found that many times this doesn’t serve us well. 

So when you encounter these men, what sort of advice do you share with them? 

I encourage them to take an assessment of themselves —- where they’re at and how they’re feeling about life. And I encourage them even if they don’t really feel the need to reach out for help, specifically medical help if depression and suicidal thoughts are involved. In fact, I believe that this is the next pandemic that’s emerging — the mental health challenges that so many of us are going through. All of this underscores the importance of reaching out to get the help that you need when you need it.

Why do you believe there have been such huge disparities in the Black community? 

We’ve had some historical misfortunes. Just the other day I was lined up with folks in our local African American community to get a Covid vaccination shot and began pondering about how uninformed we are regarding very basic things that are in the news. We just don’t know. Sure, we’ll talk about the Tuskegee experiment and what happened with that terrible episode in our history. But that was then, this is now. Today is a much much better time for everyone, especially for us Black Americans in terms of getting the help we need. We just need to see it out and do it.

Can you talk about the role that faith has played in your life? 

I’ve always been very strong in my faith as I grew up in a Christian household. I’ve had the same Church home here in Seattle for the past 35 years. I’m there every Sunday. So the church has been very, very important to me particularly my church family.

I know that God is in control. This is what my faith tells me, this is what I believe. We can put it all on God. I believe that God gives us the wherewithal and wisdom to make good choices. But we have to make them. So I knew even in the deepest, darkest times of my journey God was still there with me, even when I couldn’t feel anyone else nearby. 

What about the significance of having good people in your life to turn to? 

That’s so important because we are very social beings just by nature. This is why the pandemic shutdown has been so hard on so many of us, that feeling of being so isolated and all alone. 

So how do we address this isolation? 

I believe that everyone has two or three people in their life that they’re close to and can be a non-judgmental ear for them to talk to. That’s one of the things that really helped me through this was the fact that I reached out to people who had known me for thirty or forty years. A couple of my old basketball coaches even, George Raveling over at Washington State and Lenny Wilkins with the Seattle SuperSonics. Both of those guys were like a pair of crutches for me. I leaned on both of them to help me through the challenging times I’ve faced. 

Quick story — One night I was around a group of people who knew me well. I asked all of them “hey, if I am wide awake at 2:00 am in the morning and I can’t get back to sleep and I need somebody to call, can I call on you.”  And every single one of them put their hand up and said, “Yes. Put me on speed dial. Call me.”

That must have been so reassuring knowing that you had people like that in your corner who cared? 

It was. My college coach George Raveling once reminded me that he knew me as a high school kid and recruited me. So he wasn’t going to let all of the work I had put into myself and that he put into me go to waste. He told me that I needed to hang in there. And he sternly told me that,  “I (me) would not be taking my life and that WE would get through this.” I really needed that reassurance.

What is your greatest hope in terms of what readers will walk away from your book with? 

Honestly, this story isn’t so much about me. Rather it’s about trying to help others. Sure people are talking about me and what I went through. But I want people to really look at themselves and see what they’re going through and reach out and get help. That’s the name of the game during these often lonely and uncertain times that we are in.

BREAKING NEWS: James JUST announced that he’s running for Mayor of Seattle. Talk about standing tall and marching forward!