Good afternoon, Ms. Hardy. It is important to me to be able to respect different points of views. For anyone reading your comments, I'd like to make some factual clarifications. I have no affiliation with the governor of Florida or his policies. I am not a divorce attorney. I was a divorced single mom. Generally speaking, there are exceptions to everything in life, and I make significant efforts in the book to make that clear. Some of the quotes you reference in your comment are taken from an interview and must be reviewed in context to get the meaning intended. In that interview, I speak about my experiences and what my mother did. As Mr. Scott suggested you might get a fuller perspective by reading the book since there is nothing in it, or in the interview I mentioned that shames or blames women. Quite the contrary, it places responsibility on the absent fathers for their failures and addresses how women can heal from this very difficult life challenge by seeing life through a Spiritual lens.
“while your daddy may not have been present, he loves you.”
I’m the daughter of an absent father. This will be true in some cases and not in others. There are pathologies that prevent parents from loving their children.
“Your mom is going to speak badly of him from morning until night, saying every negative thing that she can about him. And the child is going to listen to this and internalize it in a very negative way.”
This is a negative and presumptuous assumption and stereotype of single mothers. Some single mothers will do this and others will not. What is the author’s motive? Despite saying, “the book is not about finding fault or placing blame,” clearly exonerates absent fathers and blames the mothers who raise children alone under extraordinary circumstances.
I suggest the book, “Women Are Blamed for Everything” during Women’s History Month, not single mother shaming books that add insult to injury to the most economically deprived demographic in the world. The wealth gap between single and married mothers is enormous and widening. Sexism predates any other ism.
I have a whole lot more to say on the topic, but I’ll leave it at that. I know intimately the plight of the fatherless daughter and the single mother. Call me an “in the bones” expert as well. You will never “heal” women by blaming and shaming them for the extraordinary challenges that we face that the patriarchy created.
I don’t usually leave such comments, but the when it’s your entire life experience, the political becomes personal.
Hi Chandra. Acknowledging your willingness to share. Thank you for sparking what will hopefully be a deeper conversation on this important theme. In all fairness to Olivia, her book provides the proper context for what may not have been conveyed in her message here. I also will check out the book you recommended in your comment. Maybe I can talk you into sharing your thoughts about that book in a future feature piece.
Thank you for your reply. I was just going to post on Facebook that so many historic figures, including Garrison and DuBois were raised by single mothers. Anyway, I’m now permanently banned on LinkedIn by a male customer service rep from India where the patriarchy is fully entrenched. This only reinforces the economic disparities of single mothers since I’m now unable to market my writings to my 20K former cherished connections. Readers might also look at the punishment gap that women and Black people experience everywhere. I have always been willing to collaborate with you. Good to know you still have interest in that. I have reached out to James Meredith’s wife, but have yet to hear back. Be well.
A follow up pertinente data point: the author is a Florida divorce attorney. I am also a resident of Florida. This type of background and lens is important to highlight. And she is not divorced (no pun intended) to the systemic racism and sexism in this state under the dictatorship of DeSantis who just removed the fact the Rosa Parks is Black from the school curriculum. I guess they couldn’t erase that she was a woman. They have also moved to eliminate gender studies:
Good afternoon, Ms. Hardy. It is important to me to be able to respect different points of views. For anyone reading your comments, I'd like to make some factual clarifications. I have no affiliation with the governor of Florida or his policies. I am not a divorce attorney. I was a divorced single mom. Generally speaking, there are exceptions to everything in life, and I make significant efforts in the book to make that clear. Some of the quotes you reference in your comment are taken from an interview and must be reviewed in context to get the meaning intended. In that interview, I speak about my experiences and what my mother did. As Mr. Scott suggested you might get a fuller perspective by reading the book since there is nothing in it, or in the interview I mentioned that shames or blames women. Quite the contrary, it places responsibility on the absent fathers for their failures and addresses how women can heal from this very difficult life challenge by seeing life through a Spiritual lens.
“while your daddy may not have been present, he loves you.”
I’m the daughter of an absent father. This will be true in some cases and not in others. There are pathologies that prevent parents from loving their children.
“Your mom is going to speak badly of him from morning until night, saying every negative thing that she can about him. And the child is going to listen to this and internalize it in a very negative way.”
This is a negative and presumptuous assumption and stereotype of single mothers. Some single mothers will do this and others will not. What is the author’s motive? Despite saying, “the book is not about finding fault or placing blame,” clearly exonerates absent fathers and blames the mothers who raise children alone under extraordinary circumstances.
I suggest the book, “Women Are Blamed for Everything” during Women’s History Month, not single mother shaming books that add insult to injury to the most economically deprived demographic in the world. The wealth gap between single and married mothers is enormous and widening. Sexism predates any other ism.
I have a whole lot more to say on the topic, but I’ll leave it at that. I know intimately the plight of the fatherless daughter and the single mother. Call me an “in the bones” expert as well. You will never “heal” women by blaming and shaming them for the extraordinary challenges that we face that the patriarchy created.
I don’t usually leave such comments, but the when it’s your entire life experience, the political becomes personal.
Hi Chandra. Acknowledging your willingness to share. Thank you for sparking what will hopefully be a deeper conversation on this important theme. In all fairness to Olivia, her book provides the proper context for what may not have been conveyed in her message here. I also will check out the book you recommended in your comment. Maybe I can talk you into sharing your thoughts about that book in a future feature piece.
Thank you for your reply. I was just going to post on Facebook that so many historic figures, including Garrison and DuBois were raised by single mothers. Anyway, I’m now permanently banned on LinkedIn by a male customer service rep from India where the patriarchy is fully entrenched. This only reinforces the economic disparities of single mothers since I’m now unable to market my writings to my 20K former cherished connections. Readers might also look at the punishment gap that women and Black people experience everywhere. I have always been willing to collaborate with you. Good to know you still have interest in that. I have reached out to James Meredith’s wife, but have yet to hear back. Be well.
A follow up pertinente data point: the author is a Florida divorce attorney. I am also a resident of Florida. This type of background and lens is important to highlight. And she is not divorced (no pun intended) to the systemic racism and sexism in this state under the dictatorship of DeSantis who just removed the fact the Rosa Parks is Black from the school curriculum. I guess they couldn’t erase that she was a woman. They have also moved to eliminate gender studies:
https://amp.cnn.com/cnn/2023/03/22/us/florida-textbook-race-rosa-parks-reaj/index.html
https://www.cnn.com/2023/03/22/politics/florida-proposal-teaching-sexual-orientation
Happy women’s history month!